1. |
Beard Snax by Beard Snax
02:02
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Back when I was young, I could barely afford lunch
I had to take advantage of any way to get my munch
They said I looked like a bum, growing a full beard but
It would catch all the crumbs, upon which I would gladly crunch
Beard snacks, beard snacks, the snacks from your beard
I find it tasty, but they find it weird
Now i'm being ostracised by my peers
Beard snacks, beard snacks, the snacks from your beard
More satisfying, because they are free
A smorgasbord tucked under my chin
I found a piece of cheese, left to mature inside my beard
Next to it what do I glean? But a complimentary Heinz bean
Thrown into the mix, some biscuit crumbs from off my Twix
You might think it's sick, but that shit makes me lick my lips
Beard snacks, beard snacks, the snacks from your beard
I find it tasty, but they find it weird
Now i'm being ostracised by my peers
Beard snacks, beard snacks, the snacks from your beard
More satisfying, because they are free
A smorgasbord tucked under my chin
And they say "No, don't do it!"
and I say "Yes!" as I chew it
I might not be cool, I may well have blew it
But it's just school, I'll get through it
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2. |
Happy Fucking Birthday
01:41
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When I was a kid, a birthday was just presents and cake
Ball pits, balloons and friends to celebrate
No fear of age or creeping shame, or feeling I'm too late
Just getting fucked up on Panda Pops and games
Upon turning 18, I enjoyed the freedom and the beer
Turning 21 just felt like any other year
But at 22 I knew that I was through, and I knew the time was near
When I should get on the train, or I'd be left behind by my peers
When I turned 23 it hit me like a brick to the face
When I turned 24 it fucked me up like a prison rape
After it shamed me in the shower, it whispered in my ear,
"If you think that was bad, bitch, just wait 'til I see you next year."
Happy fucking birthday
Happy fucking birthday
Happy fucking birthday
And many more
And so I spend every day praying i'll never reach 25
When the day comes for me, i'll be fending it off with a knife
Because I'd sooner take my life than take another fucking year
All that's stopping me now is the thought that i'd be buried here
and I don't want my tombstone to read "R.I.P Loser Was Here"
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3. |
S-o-T
01:51
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Talk about prosperity, a charity shop economy
Mum she worked in pottery until China bought our industry
Thatcher closed down all the pits, generations on the skip
On the dole and in the shit, 21st century S-o-T
Living in the S-o-T, from pottery to parody
Aup duck ex-employee, he's hardly exemplary
He's got hungry mouths to feed, and he's got a harem to seed
Life is short and life is cheap, 21st century S-o-T
The North look down on us, but offer some empathy
The South just turn their back, they fear that we are diseased,
well we are the S-o-T
It's just another day in the S-o-T.
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4. |
Better Than Me
01:48
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Well, you think you're better than me
It's not that hard to see,
It's in every single word you breathe,
Every snide little comment that leaks.
And maybe you're better than me,
but really what does that mean?
'cause we're all pieces of shit,
trying to work out how to live,
and it's hard to believe,
that you could be such a dick,
God, you make me sick,
but I know you're still better than me.
Well, you think you're better than me,
but that knowledge makes me free.
Because I don't ever have to compete
to be anything I don't wanna be.
And if you think you're better than me,
then whatever, you're welcome to dream
I'm a lot of shitty things,
but at least I don't just think about superiority;
but although that is the case,
I remain out of place,
and I know you're still better than me.
Well, I don't think i'm better than you,
but the opposite may be true
what the hell is a person to do
when they feel so lost and confused?
I get drunk and I swear at a dude
who gave me some attitude,
but when they raise their voice,
I get scared of the noise
and I hide, that's what I do;
punched in the face,
i'm a bitter disgrace,
and I get what i'm due;
wanna say you're the worst,
but I know that I'm cursed,
and I know you're still better than me.
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5. |
High School: The Musical
03:27
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And my best friend at 15, he came from Camberwick Green
He had a real high albedo
One day his mother decreed we weren't the friends that he'd need
to be a real big achiever.
And we didn't understand him like the inbreds at that other school,
and she didn't want her precious boy to bend or break the rules.
Another guy down the road, he was the butt of our jokes
we said he loved pedophilia.
His Dad was eight aeons old, his voice was a monotone
his knuckles like an echidna's.
And he had a big house party to prove that he was cool,
the chavs gatecrashed, the house was trashed, they stole his shoes.
Another guy that we knew lisped like he'd gargled some glue,
he had a real big ego.
He used to creep on the girls, his odour made them hurl,
so he turned into an emo.
And there was that girl that used to lie in every class;
said her vag had cancer, she was talking right out of her ass.
I could tell you about the beez and the toad,
and a load more freaky cunts;
but i'll save your time, and tell you i'm the worst one of the bunch,
because I never grew up.
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6. |
Heroes
00:51
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Ask me about my heroes, I guess I could say Devo
AJJ and Days n Daze, and Johnny Hobo
More than any teacher, or any holy preacher
they inspired me to be a better creature.
And they may not have moved mountains,
solved world hunger? Well I kind of doubt it.
But they lived their own lives and taught me how to survive,
and I guess that makes them all heroes to me.
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7. |
Doomed
01:52
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The world is getting ready for a war,
in a way that I have never seen before.
The army advertisements on the TVs and the boards,
the world is getting ready for a war.
The war is about to start,
feels like half the fucking country has just ripped out all their hearts,
and the President of America's named after a fucking fart;
the war is about to start.
Tell me why you hate me quite this much
for the things that I believe, or the people that I love.
You haven't heard, and I find it quite absurd,
no-one chooses who they love in this world.
No-one chooses who they love in this world.
The end of the world is coming soon,
I know it's hard, and it feels like there's nothing we can do;
but if you want optimism, then it's got to start with you,
because otherwise, I promise we are doomed.
Because otherwise, I promise we are doomed.
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8. |
Love Song
02:59
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Throw a bunch of chords together, that'll make a song,
just make sure you use the right ones and don't do it wrong.
Sing about the things that other people wanna hear,
don't sing about depression or anxiety or fear.
Because a girlfriend is really what you want,
that's the way it is: anything else is wrong.
If you wanna be loved and be safe from any hate,
make sure that you work really hard to be straight.
We all just want a good laugh or a love song,
but maybe we need something more;
because these days, just writing a love song
doesn't get you laid anymore.
Your eyes are beautiful, whatever colour they are,
you're smart, funny and clever; get into my car.
And why are you offended when I whistle in the street?
I'm complimenting you! I'm just doing it like a creep.
They say romance is dead, but I disagree
I get dick pics on Tinder constantly
And I love it when you listen to the things I have to say,
with your face in your phone all fucking day.
We all just want a good laugh or a love song,
but maybe we need something more;
because these days, just writing a love song
doesn't get you laid anymore.
You don't think i'm interesting or funny,
and you couldn't care less what I think;
and I know you could easily go and find someone else,
on the inside, we're all pink.
So next time you decide to write a love song,
stop and have some self respect;
because if you just write songs to get laid,
then it's unlikely you'll ever have sex.
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9. |
Popular
02:53
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I'm your punching bag, the target of your jokes,
i'm one of the non-threatening and far too nice folks.
So make yourself feel better by stepping on my toes,
I hope it keeps you warm at night when you're lying there alone
No-one likes to feel like they didn't make the cut,
you'll clearly pick yourself if it's a choice between us
Because better is subjective in the circle of your friends,
if someone has to be the loser, you would rather it be them
Oh, popular guy, you're so cool
I'm glad you haven't changed a single bit since school
Oh, popular guy, make sure you stay that way
because if you don't, you might find yourself alone someday.
People are like sheep, all packed into a field,
no-one wants to be alone, but let's get real.
If you don't have much hair to shed, get your coat,
because you're useless to them now, and they will gladly slit your throat.
Make sure you tell people that you're better than them,
you need to be on top more than you need friends.
The chosen ones can live in self-assured harmony,
fuck the rest of us, we deserve mediocrity.
Oh, popular guy, you're so cool
I'm glad you haven't changed a single bit since school
Oh, popular guy, make sure you stay that way
because if you don't, you might find yourself alone someday.
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10. |
God Given Right
01:55
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You've got the God given right to opinion,
you've got the God given right to your views,
you've got the God given right to religion if that's what you choose.
You've got the God given right to abortion,
you've got the God given right to yourself;
if God made you, he made you a person, no matter what else.
Because you can't deny your power and your worth,
the choices that you make affect the world.
You've got the God given right to be hateful,
you've got the God given right to be wise
you've got the God given right to find love with whoever you like.
You've got the God given right to be stupid,
you've got the God given right to be wrong,
you've got the God given right to be weak, to be meek, to be strong.
Because no-one else can tell you what to do,
the only judge you'll have to face is you.
You've got the God given right to feel cheated,
you've got the God given right to your fear,
got the God given right to wish the world would disappear.
You've got the God given right to be angry,
to proclaim the world is not right,
you've got the God given right to assemble and riot and fight.
Because you can't deny your power and your worth,
the choices that you make rotate the Earth.
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11. |
Trading Love
02:10
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Well, i'd trade all my love for a cigarette,
because at least cigarettes keep you warm.
Belcing cancers like prayers from the minarets
praying i'll flicker out before dawn.
Well, i'd trade all my love for a little more love,
because the love I have's never enough;
i'm so tired of your face, so get off of my case,
i'm so sorry, you make me so bored.
I'd trade all my skin for a lager,
so then I wouldn't have to look clean;
and they'd gaze at my muscles and organs,
but they'd know that i'm not a machine.
Well, i'd trade all my love for a barrel of hate,
hate to say it, but hate's what I love.
There's no love in me now, i've been broken somehow
I hope you'll all leave me to rust.
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12. |
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It's the end of the year of mercy,
God's getting ready, yeah, he's priming the bombs.
It's the end of the year of mercy,
he's killing the poor and expanding the slums;
and he's starting to flood the market
with warheads, and semtex, and guns.
It's the end of the year of mercy, all mercy is gone.
It's the end of the year of mercy,
God doesn't feel angry, no, he's not even wronged.
He just can't wait to get his hands dirty,
he's hungry for blood and he's ready for fun;
like a kid who builds Lego houses
and then revels in fucking them up.
It's the end of the year of mercy,
now here comes the flood.
And if you seek to placate him,
you shall not be spared;
his ears filled with screams of terror
will not hear your prayers.
But it's the end of the year of mercy,
so get prepared.
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13. |
Going Down to Chester
01:06
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I'm going down to Chester,
where the rich and the white and the fat all go to die.
They hate the youth, but in truth,
they fucking loathe each other too.
Their flabbotastic kids are swarming
all over the fucking zoo.
I'm going down to Chester,
where the bleached-asshole elite all have a time.
They're knocking on fishtanks
with money from their parents;
they'll never know resistance,
they'll just eat and shit an easy track through life.
No dear, we don't want second-hand, we want brand.
No dear, we don't want second-hand, we want brand.
No dear, we don't want second-hand, we want brand.
Going down to Chester makes me feel like committing suicide.
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14. |
At Least You're Alive
02:40
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You crashed your car, it spun around,
now we're putting you into the ground.
Why was it you? Why was it you?
You were just a kid, what the fuck did you do?
and that was the first time,
most of us dealt with death;
it wasn't for me, but it still left me short of breath.
It was your life, you lived it right,
like you knew it was the last time we'd see you alive.
It was your life, you lived it right,
like you knew it was the last time we'd see you alive.
The world is cruel, the world is sick,
the world just kind of likes to be a dick.
I'm still alive, I still complain,
but I can't shake that image from my brain,
about 300 other people,
i've known since I was young,
every single one crying, and I mean everyone
It was your life, you lived it right,
like you knew it was the last time we'd see you alive.
It was your life, you lived it right,
like you knew it was the last time we'd see you alive.
And when we get drunk, we all discuss
what a terrible tragedy it was;
when we get home and we're throwing up,
we just hope that it won't happen to us.
And I didn't really know you that well,
but I miss you all the same;
i'm alive, and you are not,
and I find that such a shame,
and I don't wanna die,
but I wish you hadn't too.
It was your life, you lived it right,
like you knew it was the last time we'd see you alive.
It was your life, you lived it right,
like you knew it was the last time we'd see you alive.
It was your life, you lived it right,
like you knew it was the last time we'd see you alive.
This is your life, you get one try,
so laugh or cry, but at least you're alive.
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15. |
Addicted
03:10
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I'm addicted to nicotine,
and I'm addicted to booze and weed,
and I'm addicted to that sweet green,
and nobody knows what I need.
My life's okay, but i'm not happy anyway,
that's why i'm gonna go and buy some mary-jane today,
and I just wanna have friends, and I just wanna be cool,
but I don't like drugs, they say do not take that shit at school.
So I go up to the guy, and I pull my tenner out,
and as I turn around the guy punches me in the mouth;
and then I go to school, they ask if I'm okay,
but I look super fucking cool, so I don't mind anyway.
I'm addicted to nicotine,
and I'm addicted to booze and weed,
and I'm addicted to that sweet green,
and nobody knows what I need.
University is pretty stressful on my mind,
I take cocaine to keep me up while I write my assignments at night;
and I just use a little bit, because getting it aint hard,
the hard part is trying to cut straight lines with my student card.
But drugs are bad I know, that's all I ever hear,
from guys on friday nights off their faces on beer;
but I'm not hooked, and I can stop anytime I please,
I just have to make sure before I snort that I don't sneeze.
Because i'm addicted to amphetamines,
and I'm addicted to LSD,
and I'm addicted to popping Es,
and nobody knows what I need.
Organic or chemical,
don't give a fuck, I'll take them all,
shove them up my nose or up my asshole.
I'll snort enormous piles of coke,
to show them my life's not a joke,
please like me, or failing that just help me.
I'm addicted to nicotine,
and i'm addicted to booze and weed,
and i'm addicted to that sweet green,
and nobody knows what I need,
my crippling lack of self-esteem;
and I'm a drug taking machine.
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Beard Snax Stoke On Trent, UK
Folk-punk from Stoke-on-Trent, England. We write mildly depressing songs and have facial hair. We like a good munch.
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